Are You There?

The weight of my life aches in my memory. The child inside me still screams, desperate for a mother’s protection, but was met only with absence and cold. Her innocence drowned slowly beneath the voice of a beast—rage, hate, revenge. Each emotion forged in the consuming fire of martyrdom. I was the silent sacrifice, carrying the loss of self for far too long.

My back breaks under the growing weight of silence. It cripples my mind. The child and the beast twist together in a losing battle, not fighting for life—but for meaning, for proof that I’m still here inside this phantom of a soul.

And in that silence, the martyr is devoured by suffering and met with hate. Fate delivers a heretic—born from pain. The beast grows inside that part of me, feeding on every wound, every betrayal, until the lines blur. I am no longer the child. No longer the innocent. I am the beast. I am the heretic.

I love like an orphan, bleeding my soul into the object of my desire. I worship it as my newfound god. I wait for it to save me. But in time, hell whispers its epiphany: I am awake. Heaven goes silent. And I see clearly—the devil was wearing my savior’s face.

I destroy what I once revered. I let the beast feed. It’s the only way I know how to survive. The betrayal wasn’t only his—it was mine too. The child in me is lost now, handed over to a masked faith. A faith once pure, now twisted, killed by a demonic god I begged to save me.

Lost in the chaos of passion, my wounds bleed like waterfalls, drowning anyone who dares to get close. And in that destruction, I am reborn. Not as the child. Not as the lover. Not even as the beast. As something darker. Something I can’t escape.

In my rebirth, I’m left with only the silence of my soul. I inhale smoke. I exhale pain. What a cliché—what a hollow excuse for lingering hurt. Are you happy now?

I’m numb.

Is this happiness? Or have I disappeared entirely—swallowed by the emptiness I created? A shadow of who I once was. Or maybe a shadow of who I was always meant to become.

Hello?
Numbness has come.
Are you there?
Gone. Just an object trapped in time.